Almost 2 Months!

Where have i been, well i have my laptop, so that means im here to stay, making some changes.. chow.

Surprise!

Well look who back.............. sheesh been gone for 7 months! damn miht fault loves, i have no cpu or latop to use on the normal, but will. soon. update, well my b-day pasted im officially 20. lol. been 6 months, i sorta kinda talk to some one new, wel a couple (giggles) alot of picture updates to come... Chow. =)

Walks By.

Good lord is it me.... smh i so ashamed haven't been on here in a min.. but i'll be back very soon. cpu got a virus.. nd laptop act crazy.... so much to say... so little time to tell but i will spend every second tellin yu.... ttyl... chow.

missin

caught up w/ my thougts not in a bad way tho.... alot stuff goin on havnt spoke in four days thats a new record.. im tryna do me. make myself more better, i see he doin the same, dnt get me wrong my love is so strong for him.. i just need my space... like he wrote earlier on fb,, time & space is everything you give me that i'll give yu the world... lets see how this goes... he's miles away right now nd all i can think about is gettin this new job... nd a part of me wishes i was laying nxt to him. smellin him,touchin him. everything thing bout him.. time will tell. good nigth,.

Another thought another day.

Hmmm where do i start....


laying down think, wondering,feeling.
Today i was hoping would be a good day. but know me nd how lifes going for me now. i doubt alot of things lately....


i ran across a converstation that change my life forever. me as a person etc...
it was the first converstation we ever had.... that was the day i thought would never end... i went from being depressed. to having butterflies in my tummy.

Hearing his voice at first i was ready to put him in my friend catergory...thn as our convo progress i realized how much we were alike. how well we went together... never felt that way before bout anybody.... that made me nervous..


meeting him was a nervous morning. i woke up early. figured he forgot till i got his txt. asking was i ready... nd from then on i said yes..


flash forward almost a year later.... so many mixed emotions, half -ass convo, lil mis trust, pain, forgiveness, the i Love you's..... the not responsives txts. to the calls just to hear eachothers voice. to the late night txting. to the fb status....


i miss him alot... i miss waking up to his good moring txt..his random txtin thur out my day.. i miss his random subs for me on twitter. i miss being his baby.. now i dnt know where i stand in his heart.. nd that right there breaks my heart. wish we could just be happy....

Brief Visit.

At once im here.... well technicaly im not. my computer is actin really slow so its hard for me to blog anything which pisses me off.... i been wantin to reconstruct my pg for a while its just that everytime i try my computer freezes... and im rarely on the laptop.. ima try it on there one of these days i promise... im reading blogs mostly.. ima get back to commentin them alot of yu blogs help me out in alot of ways.. so i guess im thanking you also...so much as taken places im mean not much but its fair share..... i broke my nail yesterdayy. blahhh. lol.... ima keep this post short... im around readin new blogs. new bloggers old bloggers... i'll be commentin soon.=) Chow.

A New Beginning

Sooo with alot of thought... i decide to leave my hometown of NYC.... sighs to much drama & stress so ima pack my bags nd endure this cold world.... i'll keep yu posted... im sooooo excited.

Ugh Blank.

its so much i want to say maybe not cause now that im sittin here i dnt have much to say.... i know this i feel like ima alone in every aspect of the word...
well this how my day went... woke up at like 3 in the am as usual.. bored wantin to talk. but no one of intrest to talk to,so i listen to my blackeberry till i doze off again. man when i tell yu my mind be gone it seriously do... i know deep down. i be wantin to call him.but then i always change my mind due to that fact i hate rejection as in gettin his voice mail or him upset that i called him at that hour of night... sighs. i wish i knew his real thoughts on me im preparin myself for him to tell me he dnt want nothin to do with me.. i keep tryna prepare but i know if i heard that i would be devasted...but then again im always sayin im fed up with him..imnever talkin to himagain then one of us contacts one another... evrytime i go to speak my mind to him. i freeze up nd my moment past. damn what am i to do... i even spoke to my idk ex i suppose.. yea ummm he wants to see me but i hate to front i rather spend my time with my boobie. but i feel boobie dnt wanna be around for the moment. nd this breaks my heart.

Lasting Love

A Poem By Yours Truely... Feelings From My Wonderful Night W/ Boobie.



I Love Him So Much That It Hurt. Which Slowly Turned Into Hate. Cause I Hate To See Him Go. But I Love The Way He Stole My Heart Like a Sweet Thief in The Night.I Dnt Know Weather To Call Him a Saint Or A Sinner.But W/ Me You'll Never See Him Sink.

Layers Of Me.. Thanks To Jupiter's Own.

Snatched W/ Appreciating From @Jupiter's Own =)

LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: Cherei.
Birth Date: November 14th.
Current Location: On My Bed...In THIS Apartment...
Hair Color: Brown.
Righty/Lefty: Righty.

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
Your fear: Missing Out On LOVE..
Your dream of the perfect date: Being W/ Someone I LOVE.

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
Your thoughts first waking up: "Why Am I Missin HIM This Bad?."
Your best physical feature: Ummmm,My legs...But Ppl Say My BREASTS!.
Your bed time: Dependin On My Mood.
Your most missed memory: Laying Up W/ HIM All Day.. Betta Yet When We First Started Talkin. Aimin For 9 Hours Straight...Then Jonesin For Another 3 1/2 Hours On The Phone.=D

LAYER 4: YOUR PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: Ummm. IDK! Like Juice.
McDonald’s or Burger King: Can't Decide. Lol.
Single or Group Dates: Single.
Adidas or Nike: Dnt Wear Sneakers That Much.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: NOT! Caramel Frap Please..LOl.=D

LAYER 5: DO YOU.
Smoke: Nope. Im High Off Life.
Cuss: Lol. Sometimes.=X
Take showers: Damn near three times a day.
Have a crush: Couple. But In/Love W/ ONE.
Like school: Never the FCKIN Day.

Believe in yourself: Sometimes. Varies Dependin on My Mood.
Believe what goes around comes around: Yes. Karma Is My Motha Fckin B*TCH.
Believe everything happens for a reason: Yes.
Think you’re a health freak: Sadly No.

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST MONTH.
Gone to the mall: Yup. W/ my Big Sis.=)
Been on stage: Ugh. No.
Eaten sushi: Nope...
Been hurt: Physically.? Yes. By Dellz. Lol. Mentally, spiritually.? Yesssss.='( Every Fckin Min...FCKKKKK!
Dyed your hair: No.=( Goin to Tho.

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER.
Played a stripping game: He He He. When. Lol.=X
Kissed the same sex: WTF??? Not romantically. As In The Cheek.
Gotten beaten up: ...Sadly In the 7th Grade.Dumb Btch Snuck & Tryed Catch Me Off Guard. Jealous Ass Btch.
Changed who you were to fit in: I've Always Been The One Who Just Happen To Joke Her Way In.

LAYER 8: GETTING OLD.
Age you’re hoping to be married by: Yes.Hopefully. By 25.. But a Girl Can Only Dream right.
Number of kids you’re planning on having: Four. HMMMMM WTF???...Maybe.

LAYER 9: IN A GUY.
Hair color: .... IDK. As Long as Its Neat.
Short or long hair: IDC.. But Im Lovin Short. Cesar Fade.UmmmmHmmmm DAMN!
Fat or fit: FIT! To Small To Be Smushed.
Looks or personality: Caramel Complexion.=D 5'11-6'0, Dark Brown Eyes. Charmin Smile..Full Ass Lips. Funny Sarcastic,Driven,Smart... Ahh Damn Descibin HIM..='(
Fun or serious: Both. There's A Time Nd Place For All.
Best Eye Color: Brown.

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
1 MINUTE AGO: BBMIN Dellz.
1 HOUR AGO: ReApplyin My Make-Up.
1 WEEK AGO: W/Him.. =(
1 YEAR AGO: Finding Out Ways To Successfully Graduate. Lol.


LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE.
I FEEL: Blank. & It hurts.=/
I HATE: Liars.
I HIDE: My Emotions.Feelings.
I NEED: Some Real Ummmmhmmmm LOVE. =(
I LOVE: Myself. My Chicas.Dellz & Tiara... Nd Last But Never Least My Boobie... ="(

nothin to say just alot on my mind as usually..... i'll be back later. maybe in a better mood. but then again i doubt that...cause im goin thur it.... sheesh why me???????? =/

(Naked) Truth....

Sheeesh i never thought i would ever be able to voice my opinion Like this but i guess soo here i go....



Im STUCK. Im A Fool In Love, A Heart-Broken Girl,A Undercovered Bitch.....


my life has lil to no success everything i want seem to always never go my way.. to the point i feel like shutin out the world nd cryin till i crawl up and die...
but some part of me will not allow me to do that soooo.I Wont Im Gettin My Shit Together One way Or Another...... im in loveee nd i mean i got the shit bad.. cause no matter what im always ready for him... but then again i am very sensitive the lil thing make me nervous.. i mean the floor fell in before whos to say it been buit back. or it won't happen again... sighhhhhs i wish i knew the right way to go about it .. ima just fall back nd let time solve my issue...CHOW.

(Sighs)

Slowly, nd i mean slowly I'm learnin a better way of life.. a way of life that's just for me... i remember alot its some things i wish never happened to me. but i come to realize trials nd tribulations make you the person you are today... i give alot just to get little back.. my confidence is rocky.. one minute I'm all bout me. I'm more pretty than others then that fcker name insecurity sneaks up on me.. my love life sucks ass cheeks. like nothing ever seems to go my way i guess that's life... it took me this long to realized that... I'm so disappointed bout that. I'm really concentrating on bettering myself one day at a time right..but i know that at the end of the day i really have no one to share my day with at least the person i wanna share it with.. without being to clingy to him. i say little since i dnt wanna get my feelings hurt again.. in reality its crazy how much he makes me happy. but i wonder is that true or is that just what my hearts wants. i also realize today. i have another heart feelin the same pain..=( nd i thought that would make me happy hearin that. but it doesn't ... I'm not that heartless Thank God... i at least want thing to go well for me i keep wondering if its around the corner for me just to get there and nothings there i guess i have to wait my turn.. sad case of lovin... day by day i struggle with my inner demons . i just hope that i can exscape them since i have them for so long...... CHOW.

Breathing In Life.

Soo i Seein Better Days Over The Hill. Glad I Held On For so long. With Love Nd Etc... Smiles Go A Long way... BRB Tho...

Found My Place In A Cold World Almost

Sometimes i think im not ready for certain shit that always to pop off... ha ha ha its funny cause physcially my body waitin for me... my mind draw blanks from time to time. slowly i know its almost over so in some ways im at peace with things... sigh... ima smile now...

i dnt know how im feelin at the moment give me a sec....

Short Hatitus .... Im Happy Tho.=) Be Back Soon...

Walking Thur CLOUDS

Sooo. Im SICK. x___X Nooooo!!!!
Nd Its So Fckin NICE in Nyc. Oh Well Im Enjoying My Time Alone....=D
Cause Im Plottin On Some Shit. (Ha Ha Ha) Evil Laugh<-- LOSER THOUGH.
Any Who i Realized My Blog Feels So DAMN Depressin.. Ahhh Man Time to Change That. Listenin To Some Calmin Music Slighty. Nap In A Few???... So Much Funny Ish Is Happenin Right Bout Now. Usually I Would Have Cryed Bout 4 Times Already.. But im As Cool As Can Be. No TEARS!!!! Yay Me... Can't Wait For JULY!!!!!!!!!! Some BIG Plans For That. Ima Just Go With The Flow Nd Take Heads While Im Going. Im On a Hatius From Facebook.. Nd Any Other Social Site.. For A Sec... The Only Thing Ima Be On Is My BLOG Yay!!!!!!!! That Means More POST. Whoooa Bytches. LML.=D I Think It The Meds Talkin... Ima Add New Pics Up Soon. Ohhh Yea Got A JOB...=D Well See How This Goes. Tryna Get Better Right Now So CHOW.

Fightin AIR.

Ughhhh. I Dnt Know How I Feel Right Now. Im Waitin for Something I Just Dnt Know What It Is Or When Its Comin.... Is Like I Wanna Be InLOVE. I Just Dnt Wanna HURT. Better Yet Have To Fight For It. im Tryin My Hardest To Protect My Heart & Feelings. They Just Not Listenin To Me.=/ So GREAT. Im At A Cross-Road... I Want Someone To Help Me. I Just Dnt Know Who To Go To.... Im Not Feeling Well But Yet It's A Beautiful Day Outside.So Many Cook-Outs Going On. I Wish I Felt The Way The Day Is Looking. I Need T.L.C. Makin Some Pasta For Myself. Nd Then I'll Decide What I Want To Do..... I Wish I Was Happy With Him Right Now. Instead. It Feels Like Im Going Thur Hell. Nd He No Where To Be FOUND.='(

IDkkk!

Whatttt! Ima a Fckin Slacker I Tell Yu. Suppose To Been Done With My Blog. But Procrastinated.. Sheesh. So I'll just Work On It Every Chance I Get... Ugghhhh I Need Nd Want A New Blackberry. I LOVe Mines But It SUCks Always Updatin Nd Deletin Stuff. Soooo. I Guess Ima Be Spend 177 To Get A New BB 9700!!!!! Nd The Camera Sucksss Bout To Use My Digital To Take Photos. ... Blahhhh BBL!