Not Enough WORDS To Much To Understand

im such a fckin good person... but damn why do i continue to get hurt. i would go thur fire for certain ppl in my life.... but the question is would they do the same for me... damn i feel myself dyin i just havnt told anyone.... i feel like im screamin but everybody actin deaf.... sometimes i feel so alone and at times i need a hug. but i guess to others i dnt deserve either... i HATE feeling like my best wasnt good enough. when all yu did was show me your worst... man fck this im done!

Fightin AIR.

Ughhhh. I Dnt Know How I Feel Right Now. Im Waitin for Something I Just Dnt Know What It Is Or When Its Comin.... Is Like I Wanna Be InLOVE. I Just Dnt Wanna HURT. Better Yet Have To Fight For It. im Tryin My Hardest To Protect My Heart & Feelings. They Just Not Listenin To Me.=/ So GREAT. Im At A Cross-Road... I Want Someone To Help Me. I Just Dnt Know Who To Go To.... Im Not Feeling Well But Yet It's A Beautiful Day Outside.So Many Cook-Outs Going On. I Wish I Felt The Way The Day Is Looking. I Need T.L.C. Makin Some Pasta For Myself. Nd Then I'll Decide What I Want To Do..... I Wish I Was Happy With Him Right Now. Instead. It Feels Like Im Going Thur Hell. Nd He No Where To Be FOUND.='(

He Loves Me He Loves Me Not...

OMFG! DAMNNNNNN. Just as i wrote my last post he txts me.... we start jokin as usual. than i say "Lol.Yu Love Me???" Nd damn he has yet to txt back... that hurt like hell. i can't even cry i think my tear ducks are broken or something.... ='''( the worst thing yu can do is give some one silence to a yes or no question... i would have like a response... im just so hurt man i never thought i would be going thur this..... smh i m gone.............

Unstopped LOVED

Damn i think i spoke to soon on that last post. smfh! as soon as i thought some good was comin back to us. he once again proves he could GAF about me. nd if he do so called care or love me has a fck up way of showin it.like come on. all i ever did was care nd love for him. i never had nothin negative to say or share.like damn no disrespect. no fck that i do mean to disrespect. how the fck yu say one thing nd do some nxt shit. that really blows mines to the nxt level. but time nd time again my love stays strong. nd only keeps growin..how come you hurt the person that cares bout yu the most don't get me wrong I LOVE MYSELF 1ST & FOREMOST IN LIFE. but damn when i finally decide to show my feelings i get somebody ass to kiss. like damn i dare not look for men. even when i go out with my girls. when i do talk to someone i put ppl in a group like ooh yu just a friend or a potential. i NEVER went lookin for no man. but damn i never seem to be in a relationship. like damn thats crazy. im so fckin depress right now. i been cryin nd shit.. im in so much pain i just want it to stop.

Letter To A (LOVE)

Dear, Love


With everything we have been thur.. i would never want you to go away.... even the pain you cause my heart i have never gave up on you.. as long as my heart beats i will always Love You... you are My 1st Love.... many ppl would say im to young to say that.nd say leave you alone you are no good for me. but i know you are meant for me. you bring a happiness to me i never knew was there you make me smile so fckin hard.. you make me sad at times so much my heart aches... your touch is like silk to my body. not for nothin you saying you Love Me too. Made my heart stop beatin nd skip...best day of my life. to know that you are some what feeling the same. makes me know that everything im doin is not a waste.. The Day My Life Changed 10-11-09..With All My Heart Nd To The J On My Heart.... I LOVE You Boobie..5-22-10 muahhh!

IDkkk!

Whatttt! Ima a Fckin Slacker I Tell Yu. Suppose To Been Done With My Blog. But Procrastinated.. Sheesh. So I'll just Work On It Every Chance I Get... Ugghhhh I Need Nd Want A New Blackberry. I LOVe Mines But It SUCks Always Updatin Nd Deletin Stuff. Soooo. I Guess Ima Be Spend 177 To Get A New BB 9700!!!!! Nd The Camera Sucksss Bout To Use My Digital To Take Photos. ... Blahhhh BBL!

Something Like New....To Old

Sheesh Where Do I Start......


I Was thinking Bout Startin a New Blog.. Maybe A Sister Blog To This One. Aww Can Yu Believe That This On Is 1 Yrs Old.=D With All My M.I.A. Moments.. Nd DRAMA. Im Still Bloggin Today Was Slightly a Good Day... It Would Have Been Better If I Would Have Seen HIM...



Yes Yes I Know Alot Ppl Think Im Dumb To Still Wanna Be Around Him. Since He Hurt Me.. Nd At Times I Tell Myself That. But At The Same Time.. I Can't Seem To Let Him Gooo. Not On Some Fatal Attraction BullShit. But Just Being With HIM. I Can't Even Stop Smilin When I See Him... Its Like i Feel Brand NEW. I LOVE The Way He Touches Me. I Love The Way He Speaks To Me. =) In My Eyes He Can Do No WRONG. Even Tho It's Reality That He Has....


Never In My Life Have I Felt Like This... Bout Somebody. I Feel LOVE But At The Same Time I Feel Pain Cause DAMN He Not MINES..=( When I Be Thinkin Bout Stuff i Be Wantin To Call Him Nd Share With HIM. When I Haven't Heard From Him I Get Worried. When Its Nice Out I Wanna See Him. Spend The Day With Him. Cuddle With Him... But DAMN Reality Hits Me BAd.. Cause He NOT Mines... Nd I Have No Right Actin Like His Girlfriend When Im Not. So I Must Hide How I Really Feel. So That My Feelings Won't Come Across So Strong.. I Sometimes Have To Act Like I Dnt Care When I Do.. Some Times I Must Ignore Things I See ..... At Times I Can't Even Think Straight. Sometimes I Feel Like Cryin... Sometimes I Even Feel Like Laughin....



I Miss the Old Days Like Hell. If I Could Have Those Back Better Than Ever... I Would Be So Grateful...
I Figure Some Shit Out Tho.. It Seems Like Every time I Try Nd Go Start Something NEW With Another Guy It Always Turn Sour Nd Me Nd The Guy Never Work Out So Then Im Back To Being Alone.. Being Push Back Into His Corner.. IDK If He Seems Happy With HER. I Really Dnt Want Details. Cause It Hurts to Much... The Most Unselfish Thing I Will Ever Say Is.. If SHE Makes Him Happy In Ways That I Can't. Then So Be It. Even If It Hurts Me Like Hell. All I Want Is For Him To Be HAPPY. Nd That Right There I Think Is TRUE LOVE.....