Nd So It Goes...

shit shit shit shit!!!!! ughhhhhh.i swear yesterday i must have been a damn fool..... ugh why did my ass go see him. knowin darn well what his intention was. nd i fell for the dumb shit to... FCK! okay so i had a WEAK moment over him.... never eva will i do some dumb shit like that again.



okay so for the moment he got the best of me. well fck it. it was the first day of summer yesterday.... so i guess GAMES ON!!!!!!


letting the sun hit my face. fck it i live in the BIG Apple. bound To Find someone Who Wants Me. Lol.=) Updates Allll Dayyyyyy Until Plans Fall upon Me.

Me,Myself & I

Whoaaaaa. Can't Believe I Had A WEAK moment. SMFH So Much Better than that.... Started blasting Jay-Z.... Games On Now First Day Of Summer. Lets Goooooooooooooo.=)

Cries

everytime itell myself i hate him... my heart hearts cause i know its not true .... i miss him so bad. i seen him today. so much has changed. i tryed to say how i was feelings but i could'nt im so mad at myself right now. i let him get the best of me....i wonder if he know how much pain im feeling now....... im crying now i'll be back i can't write no more...='(

UGH F**k Relapsed A (LIL)

Soooooo... My ass relapsed today nd cryed ...i was in a good ass mood this mornin today. fck. then my ass txt him.. for what reason idk. oh yea i wanted some DAMn closure. like how yu just play me like im shit. yu out ya fckin mind... he lost my TRUST! IDGAFLYINFCK what girl he talkin to... when i want closure give it to me live your life . i'll most def live mines.... got me actin out of character nd shit.. i suppose to be happy now wasted 7 1/2 months of my life just to come out of it cryin HELL NOOOOO! Karma A Btch. watch. im far from pity.. so ima let life take its toll on his asss. ima blogg the rest of the night. i need my happiness back. bout to read nd comments some blogs...



PEACE....

Day 4... a (LIL)Light at the end.

Just when i Was Doin A Lil Better.... a Txt Comes saying "Morning Luv" -- From HIM. Hmphhhhh!!!! I Miss These Words. I Would Have Love Hearin Baby tho.-__-


so i went along with it. with sayin mornin... i didnt want to seem so eager... but i was type HAPPY. but not tryna get myself to hype... sheesh why when i work hard for something. it never seem to work in my favor. someone always reaping the rewards of my hard work....

Anyways we ask the usual.. "How Are Yu." What Yu Up To." " What Yu Doing Today" well That last One He ask Me I told Him Modelin My New clothes i Just Bought. Lol. We laugh He Said He Wanted To See. At first I was like IDK... Then He Was like What Yu Saying i Can't See Yu. i Said Yes Yu Can See Me. then He said he would Probably Past Thur my House Today...



is That a Lil hope. Just a Bit. but Then again What I hope to Happen will Never come.... -___-



Why Can't He Be MINES??????

Day 3... Feeling On the UP.

Listening to Method Man Ft MJB- I'll Be There For Yu/You're All i Need To Get By.



This song Makes me feel good. slowly replaying it. listenin to every word... feeling it deep down in my heart. i feel this song was made for me....


Today Im going Shoppin alone.. Feeling Like i Need That T.L.C Right Bout Now. Sheesh. So Much i was Thinkin bout txtin Him.. hav'nt talked in 2 days... even though i miss him like crazy i thought i should give us much needed space.


in my heart im hoping we find each other again. but my mind telling me our time has pasted...

i keep Thinking Bout All Our good times.. Puts a Smile on My Face. Then a sharp pain comes to my heart. nd i think about the current issues going on. i wish this was a bad dream. i haven't cryed since Thursday. which is good. im done crying.


i never knew a person could make another person feel this way. i keep askin myself "is he Thinking Of Me Like Im Thinking Of Him?" I Hope He Okay. Even thur all this i still Love him. Just a Lil Bit on Not trustin Him like I use to...

Day 2.... Content.. BOREDUM

So this is day 2 of my lil adventure off of Cloud nine... i can't say that my thoughts are not on him or that would be a lie..... sheesh never thought someone would stay so close to my heart after bruisin the shit out of it...


today's a beautiful day. but once again i made plans with someone nd they flaked now im pissed with nothing to do... sheesh this suppose to be my growin moment. i suppose tryna do more things everyday to keep my mind off the matter at hand..


He Seems to have moved on... so i guess i should to... even thought we have yet avoided talkin bout anything.. everything is sorta left in the air .. at a stand still. right now i feel like somethings wrong on his side i wish i could be there for him but im tryna give us space....


..... can't wait to classes start... sheesh 14 days.. then i would be think bout other things.... unlike me MISSING HIM...